Middle Earth University

My college classes just got out for the quarter. Spring Break! Yay! As I was thinking about school this morning, an interesting thought came to me. What if there was a Middle Earth University. My mom and I started brainstorming classes that would be offered, so I decided to make a list of instructors and what they would teach. Each one gets three different classes. Keep in mind this is based mostly off the movies. I can't really remember the books, though I plan to reread them soon.

·         Aragorn-

1.       How to Get Women

2.       Herb lore

3.       Being Extraordinarily Gorgeous

·         Arwen-

1.       How to Get Men

2.       Speaking Elven

3.       First Aid (specializing in stab wounds)

·         Bilbo-

1.       Cartography

2.       Smoke Rings 101

3.       Story-telling

·         Boromir-

1.       Scaring Hobbits (It’s fun!)

2.       Resisting Pain (specializing in multiple arrow wounds)

3.       Nationalism

·         Eowyn-

1.       Female Rights

2.       Horseback Riding

3.       Cooking

·         Frodo-

1.       Grooming (specializing in foot hair)

2.       Anger Management

3.       Object Disposal (specializing in rings)

·         Galadriel-

1.       Mind Reading and Other Tricks

2.       Beauty & Fashion

3.       How to Sound Wise

·         Gandalf-

1.       Self-defense (specializing against Balrogs)

2.       Fireworks

3.       Smoke Rings 102

·         Gimli-

1.       Smithing

2.       Elves Are Your Friends! (Why Not to be Racist)

3.       Bragging

·         Gollum-

1.       Riddles

2.       Psychology (specializing in Dissociative Identity Disorder)

3.       Real Estate (specializing in caves)

·         King of the Dead(classes for the recently deceased)-

1.       Intimidating Mortals 101

2.       Intimidating Mortals 102

3.       Oaths and Curses

·         Legolas-

1.       Outdoing Your Friends

2.       Extreme Sports (specializing in stair surfing and elephant jumping)

3.       Martial Arts

·         Merry & Pippin-

1.       Pilfering From Sam’s Garden

2.       Pilfering Gandalf’s Fireworks

3.       Talking to Trees

·         Sam-

1.       Gardening

2.       Ethics- Loyalty (Honor Course)

3.       Gollum Name Calling

·         Saruman-

1.       Army Management

2.       Speech

3.       Trapping People and Keeping Them Trapped (specializing in killing giant eagles)

·         Sauron-

1.       Jewelry Making (specializing in rings)

2.       You Are Special (Regaining Self Confidence After a Massive Defeat)

3.       Working in Extreme Conditions (specializing in volcanoes)

·         Theoden-

1.       Dealing With Grief

2.       Regaining Youth

3.       Seeing Through Deceit

·         Wormtongue-

1.       How to Not Get Women

2.       Being a Creep

3.       Backstabbing

Insanity

You know, sometimes I forget how insane I really am. It's not a dangerous insanity. If anything, it's a useful one. Like how I treat my characters as real people. I'll find myself having conversations with them while I'm thinking about what to write, and when I do write it often feels like they're taking control. Or how I'm often seized by a burning need to write dark, emotion filled things, usually poetry.

But if I didn't have that insanity, my writing wouldn't be the same. In fact, I wouldn't have any inspiration at all. Most of my writing is a direct result of insanity. Many plot twists come from my conversations with my characters, and the emotional scenes wouldn't be possible if I weren't in the grips of madness.

I'm able to control it most of the time, so maybe it isn't really insanity. I just bring it up when I have something I need to write, or when I'm bored and need entertainment. But there are sometimes in the darkest hours of the night when the shadows seem to come alive without any conscious effort on my part. So am I mad?

And if I am, is madness all that bad?